Jekyl’s World - Distractions
2cool.net

I’ve been hearing a lot of noise lately about trying to get legislation passed to make it illegal to talk on the phone while you drive your car.  I don’t really think this is a bad idea.  I’ve seen the polls.  I also don’t think that the polls very accurately reflect what is really going on.  For example, the poll will ask something like:  Have you ever taken or placed a call while driving your car?  Now, let’s be fair about this.  If you own a cell phone, chances are you will have to answer yes to this question.   It’s kind of like asking if you have ever pissed in the yard while no one was looking.  Just because you did it once 15 years ago after consuming 38 beers and finding the bathroom occupied by someone hugging the toilet -and getting no credit for not pissing on that individual’s head- doesn’t really mean you’re a chronic.  But technically you have to answer yes.   Right? 

Anyway, I do a lot of time behind the wheel of my car, about 17 hours day, it feels like, and I can say without any hesitation that people talking on the phone are a road hazard.  They simply are not paying attention to what they should be doing, which is getting the hell out of my way.  They drive slowly, they weave back and forth, they’re oblivious to their surroundings, and they – Oh Wait, that’s just the elderly South Florida drivers!  Really, phone users are not paying attention.  I’m going to let you in on a trade secret here.  You thought that they keep designing cell phones smaller and smaller to make them more convenient, right?  WRONG!  It’s so that elderly people cannot see the buttons on them and therefore won’t be tempted to use them while driving.  In legal circles this is technically known as Double Jeopardy.   Anyway, back to the polls.

I heard the other day that 2% of auto accidents are caused by, or at least while, talking on a cell phone.  This is much lower than the 7% caused by people trying to find another radio station so they won’t have to listen to that Brittany Spears song again for the 10^th time in the last two hours.  It’s also lower than the 5% of accidents caused by people messing around with food.  This one really grosses me out.  I’ve sat in traffic next to people that have a 4 course meal spread out on the dashboard and their lap with a drink in one hand, and a cellphone in the other.  I’m just kidding about the cell phone.  That would be rude, to talk on the phone while eating burritos and everyone knows that drivers, particularly the nice folks in Miami, would never be rude in traffic.